As I write this now, I write it in draft because I’m not wholly convinced that I want to press publish on it. I’m writing it on the internet because I want to be accountable but I’ve removed all of my blog links from social media because I don’t want people to find it. I need a point on which to focus my efforts that isn’t a day in 4 months time, so for this purpose i will use you. I’ve tried standing in front of somebody but having pretending like I agree and follow everything they stand for when in fact i think it is utter rubbish, created to fool people into thinking they are educated, is wearing me down!
I need more honesty in my life. Honesty with myself first and foremost and then honesty with everyone else around me. I try and persuade myself that I’m doing the best for myself but I’m not, I’m doing whatever is easiest, quickest and ultimately most comforting. I need to avoid outside distractions and stop using them as barriers that are in my way. I need to stop saying need and start saying want, will, can. Today is not day one because everyday is day one, i would like today to be day two, three or four because I never seem to get that far on.
I don’t a program, a plan or any specific rules. I want normality. I want reasoning. I want to remember my why, every single day. I’m willing to track, I find it helpful and mindful, some people don’t. I’ll take a note, a photo, a recipe, and stick it somewhere that people can see.
- Because I want to post about my style
- because I want to live my style instead of what I can get away with
- because I want to sleep better, if not for longer for deeper
- because I want to be a good example
- because my daughter doesnt need to know about diet
- because I want to buy all of the shoes
- because I want food to be a function not a fight
- because I want to make white space in my day to complete other things
- because I want to get rid of my anxiety
- because I want to appreciate the birds and the trees
- because I want to be proud of the photos that are taken
- I’m going to plan for Monday – Friday and stick to the plan this week
- I’m going to order when I say I’m going to do it this week
- I’m going check in with myself everyday this week
- I’m going to give myself white space everyday this week
- I’m going to do something I enjoy everyday this week
- I’m going to complete all of my circles everyday this week